> Compaq is considering changing the command"Press Any Key" to"Press Return Key", because of the flood of calls asking wherethe "Any" key is ...

> AST technical support had a callercomplaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. Thecover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in ...

> Another Compaq technician received a callfrom a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files fromhis old diskettes ... After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failure to diagnose the problem, it was foundthat the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter totype the labels ...

> Another AST customer was asked to send acopy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from thecustomer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies...

> A Dell technician advised his customer toput his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customerasked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up andcrossing the room to close the door to his room...

>Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to faxanything, After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered theman was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitorscreen and hitting the "send" key ...

>Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longerworked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap water and soaking thekeyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually...

> ADell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because hiscomputer had told him he was "bad and an invalid".

The tech explained that the computers"bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally...

> Anexasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new DellComputer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technicianasked her what happened when she pushed - the power button...

Her response, "I pushed and pushed onthis foot pedal and nothing happens."

The"foot pedal" turned out to be the computers mouse.

>Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computerwouldn't work.

Shesaid she unpacked the unit, plugged it and sat there for 20 minutes waiting forsomething

tohappen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked

"Whatpower switch?"

>True story from a Novell Net Wire Sys0p:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC isbroken and I am within my warranty period.

How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say acup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to thefront of my computer."

Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem abit stumped, it's because I am... Did you receive this as part of apromotion, at a trade show?

How did you get this cup holder? Does it haveany trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, Idon't know anything about a promotion.

It justhas '4X on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive...