Top Ten Lists

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE AREN'T

• 10. I need to whip it out by 5.
• 9. Mind if I use your laptop?
• 8. Just stick it in my box.
• 7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
• 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!
• 5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
• 4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
• 3. It's an entry level position.
• 2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?

And the number one thing that sounds dirty, but at the office isn't:
• 1. It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM AREN'T

• 10. Have you looked through her briefs?
• 9. He is one hard judge.
• 8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
• 7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
• 6. Is it a penal offense?
• 5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
• 4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
• 3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
• 2. The judge gave her the stiffiest one he could.

And the number one thing that sounds dirty, but in law isn't:
• 1. Think you can get me off?

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF AREN'T

• 10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
• 9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
• 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
• 7. Look at the size of his putter.
• 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
• 5. Mind if I join your threesome?
• 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
• 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
• 2. Nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

And the number one thing that sounds dirty, but in golf isn't:
• 1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first.
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